For Your Soul

Pictures Create Reality For Our Children

“In automobile terms, the child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering.” –Benjamin Spock

My oldest son and I were on our Sunday walk together when I heard the age old statement- “but all of my friends are allowed to play shooting games!” I responded by saying- “that tells me something about your friend’s parents and what they’re allowing their kids to put into their minds.” This conversation however, opened the door for me to create imagery for my son; I believe he will have this to draw on for some time.

The road we live on is a beautiful country road that winds through the Blue Ridge Mountains in Virginia. Everywhere you look there are sprawling hills and beautiful vegetation. There are many horse farms and other forms of wildlife which further enhances the beauty of the landscape. I stopped in front of one of the many 50 acre horse farms and began to paint a picture for my son.

“Look around at everything you see; the trees, the sky, horses, cows, birds, grass, a barn, ducks…; now imagine that everything you see right now is being photographed by your mind. At any time you may see a flash of this landscape because somewhere in your brain, these pictures have been downloaded like photos on a computer; these images can be called on at any moment. If you stood here and looked at this view every day and meditated on its beauty, you would eventually be able to pull the visual you see now, to you at any moment. You would get to the point where anytime you closed your eyes and imagined this picture in your mind, you would be able to see it like a picture. This is what happens if you spend large quantities of time playing violent video games. You get to the point of imagining those types of images in your mind and in some cases, this has lead to kids doing things they may not have otherwise done.”

My son looked at me wide eyed and I knew in that moment, he completely and fully understood what I had explained to him. For me, it was a great accomplishment, because I have entered the tween stage of development for my child and the challenges around things such as the media, peers, school, etc, etc are just around the corner and the issue of violent video games is certainly a volatile topic of concern (no pun intended). Later that evening while headed to a neighbor’s house, we passed the same spot we had stopped to have our discussion and he said- “mom, remember the picture?” I smiled, because it confirmed he heard what I said.

I remember a statement my mom made once upon a time, which I didn’t really understand until now- what we put into our mind through vehicles such as television and other forms of media carry energy which can manifest into things in our experience. As I have evolved, I have come to know this more as truth. So where do we start? What can we do to change the things that are being created in our outer reality? Awareness is always the first step, but more importantly, we need to pay attention to what our children are downloading. If they are putting energy into violent video games, which in turn sends the energy back to them through their own aggression around the game, they are absorbing this energy into their being. I have noticed this for my son on more than one occasion even with such games as sport’s games. He would truly engage in the competition of the game, be it football or baseball, and within an hour would become angry and prone to acting out in a behavioral way. It is now at the point where we have to limit any game play to an hour or less and only on weekends.

Another example of how pictures create reality for children can be defined by an experience my younger son, Caden had, which began at my parent’s house about a year and a half ago while we helped my mom with her move after my father’s death. Caden had brought his trusty blanket- blue with him on our trip to my mom’s house which had always been the case whenever we went anywhere. He had been playing on one of the moving trucks and must have set his blanket down, because unbeknownst to us until well into our trip home, blue was gone. It took many months to investigate the different places the blanket may have ended up amongst boxes and furniture and remains at large (at least physically) to this day. However, about a month ago from the time I write this, Caden proclaimed to me one afternoon that grandpa had found his blanket and he knows where it is.

We were sitting out on the deck and Caden pipes up that grandpa found his blanket.

“He did?” I responded

“Yes, he has been using it for Aunt Jamie’s baby! (my sister lost her baby earlier this year a few hours after her birth) When I go to sleep and I go into the future, grandpa let’s me use my blanket. He keeps it safe for me.”

“Wow, how does that make you feel?”

“Great, I don’t mind if grandpa uses my blanket for the baby. I know where it is!”

This is the exact dialogue I had with my six year old son who spent the better part of almost two years devastated about the disappearance of his blanket. What’s even more amazing about this is the visual imagery he created around his blanket and the link to my father. He felt the loss of my dad so strongly, that the real act of losing his blanket at my parent’s house translated to deep grief for both. He was actually then able to create real images of my dad holding his blanket and letting him use it at night. Do I believe he sees my dad? Absolutely! He has had the ability to see my dad almost every day for two years. Is it possible my dad has his blanket? Maybe… the visual manifestation for my son has been very real and has been enough for him to put the loss of his blanket to rest. He now cheerfully refers to the location of his blanket and all is well.

Although both of these examples are very different in nature, it is apparent how images whether through the absorption of energy by real imagery or through the reading of energy which translates to pictures, has a profound affect on children. I am blessed to have the opportunity to witness and be aware of these amazing occurrences for my children.

“Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child.” –Ron Wild

^©2007 by Tara Paterson, ACPI CCPI, All Rights Reserved

To read Tara’s articles published in American Chronicle’s newspapers nationwide, Click here!

*As a certified coach for parents, founder Tara Paterson is available to coach, consult, speak and write about family, parenting, relationships and spirituality.*

To view PARENTING TIPS TO EMPOWER PARENTS TO INTERACT POSITIVELY WITH THEIR CHILD, click here!

Coaching Specialties Include:

Presence- being with a situation or circumstance, but not being of it

For more information about working with Tara, email: parentcoach@justformom.com

Tara has been building bridges with moms and families for many years. Her passion first revealed itself with JustforMom.com, a web site business with advice, ideas, and resources designed to “touch each Mom’s life, one Mom at a time.” She went on to create Moms In Print, a resource to assist, educate, and guide mom writers to realize their dream of being a published author; and in July 2004, Ms. Paterson launched her 501 (c)3 non- profit concept- the Just For Mom foundation. The Foundation has been involved with projects that involved a grassroots effort to support the Reading Rainbow; the creation of the prestigious Mom’s Choice Awards™; and is the recipient of a portion of the proceeds from the Chicken Soup series - Chicken Soup for the Mother and Sons Soul.

Tara received her parent coach certification through the Academy for Coaching Parents; was a long time columnist for Children of the New Earth, an online publication; and is a national spokesperson.

Tara was nominated as the 2002 Entrepreneur of the Year by the Loudoun County Chamber of Commerce, and was awarded Entrepreneur of the Year in 2003 by a Northern Virginia networking group. She has also been seen on CNN, the Today Show, the Early Show, 48 Hours and has been featured in the Washington Post, Newsweek, the Purcellville Gazette, the Loudoun Magazine and quoted in the USA Today and Parenting Magazine.