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It’s A Guy Thing
by Paula Schmitt

My husband is as blind as a bat. OK, ok, not really, but when it comes to seeing things or finding things that are literally smack in front of him, well, then yes, he should be hanging upside down in a cave somewhere.

My boys think it’s hilarious, and they get a big kick out of it. But the scary part is that my four sons are their father. I can see them following in his footsteps already. It is, quite simply, terrifying, a blind Twilight Zone if you will.

I present for your approval.

The boys and I are in the breakfast room getting ready to eat, and my husband enters the kitchen. He notices that we are having hamburgers for dinner, and that there is no pickle relish out on the table. He goes to the fridge, bends way over, shoves his nose deep inside looking all around, checks out all the side compartments, then beginning to look a bit panicky, he shuffles from foot to foot saying, "Hmmmm". The boys and I stop and watch him, knowing what’s coming next.

Sure enough, as predicted, my wonderful husband turns to us and asks, "Anyone seen the pickle relish?"

It never fails.

I walk over to the fridge, reach in and without even looking, pull out the damn pickle relish. Blind as a bat I tell you.

Another typical scene. After our hungry family is all seated and gathered round the dinner table, we say grace and give thanks for this wonderful meal before us. Not a minute into our feast, I notice my husband’s scouring eyes. (Here we go again.) I decide to offer up some assistance before his meal gets cold.

"Uh, what were you looking for, Sweetheart?" I askas the boys all turn to look at dear old dad.

"Has anyone seen my glasses? I know I put them right here on the table," he responds, and then scratches his head only to find the missing item.

Case solved.

I think it’s a guy thing.