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Winter Road Trip Can you feel the sarcasm? Ah, Florida! That wonderful, buggy and muggy, hot and humid, glorious southern state. While it may be home to some lovely beaches and an oversized, rather rich mouse, Florida is also the proud owner of more Senior Special-Early Bird buffets, retirement communities, and horseshoe tournaments than any other state in the Union. Our parents are happy there. No problem, we shall come to visit once a year, dragging the rug rats along ever so happily. The kids call my parents Papa and Grandma and my husband’s parents Grandpa and Grandma Schmitt. My older two boys always remember quite well how their Papa hands out the dollar bills when they arrive, during their stay, and before they leave ($mart boys). Papa also has some great quotes that the kids love to snicker about – enduring them is the tradeoff for all that money. The most popular one, that really gets my guys going, is when their Papa is very thirsty and about to down a big glass of milk or root beer. As he lifts his glass, he always announces, "Over the lips, over the gums, look out stomach, here it comes!" Of course, being a well paid audience, they indulge Papa with a laugh that would make an outsider believe that’s the first time he’s delivered that line. Or this one. When Papa is watching television, don’t dare step in front of him. "Hey, you make a better door than a window!" Again, laughs all around. The children’s hungry tummies remember their way to Grandma’s kitchen. After Papa has shooed them away from the television, Grandma begins pulling out all the snacks and goodies. I nicely remind my mother that dinner is only an hour away, but she suddenly develops a hearing impairment as she continues to hand out candy, cookies, and chips for a nice, nutritious, pre-dinner snack. Visiting Grandpa and Grandma Schmitt was interesting too. You see, while he may be well into his 80’s, Grandpa is a bit of a fitness buff and the hottest octogenarian on the block. My kids treasure Grandpa’s treadmill. These same kids who develop rickets when asked to walk their toys from one room to the next, love to sneak into his room and start running, which they did for hours. Then there is Grandpa’s love of music. The kids think he is really cool until he cranks up the bass on his sound system. Ah, the beautiful sound of an Opera. My guys run for cover when Grandpa asks if anyone would enjoy hearing some good music. Obviously Grandpa has no idea the current definition of the word. Just wait until these kids get older. Grandma Schmitt knows a lot about children and mothering. She had seven of her own. The boys’ father was the sixth of those seven. Grandma Schmitt likes to make sure that the children get plenty of rest and shut eye and as the sun is setting and night time comes, Grandma starts checking the clock – every few minutes. About 7:30 p.m. she is wondering what time the kiddies are going nighty-nite. Poor woman, they are just getting revved up. Despite all the hassles, low sleep, and change in the kids daily routine, we wouldn’t change our yearly winter road trip to visit the grandparents for anything. We miss and love them dearly and wish we could be together more often. But thank goodness now it’s their turn to make a road trip to Vermont. Paula Schmitt is a writer and mother of five children living in Vermont. Her columns and essays have appeared in several publications. Paula’s non-fiction book, "Living In A Locker Room: A Mom’s Tale of Survival In A Houseful of Boys" will be available May of 2005. Email her at paula@paulaschmitt.com or visit her at www.paulaschmitt.com. |
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