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Tide, Toilet Tissue and ...Toothpaste "Moooooooom! I need some toilet tissue in here...right now!" Not again. I have come to realize, over the past 16 years, that there are just some things in life that one can never have enough of, and for my family of seven, toilet tissue is at the top of that list. Seems I just put a new roll on in any of the bathrooms in the house and POOF, they vanish just like magic. What’s even worse is when I go to the closet to get a fresh roll and the shelf is empty. Panic! In that situation I have to tell my children to use good old Kleenex. Hey, it gets the job done. Another treasure that doesn’t last long around here – Tide laundry detergent. I actually have nightmares, frequently, where I’m catching up on the endless mounds of laundry, whistling while I work, and find there is no Tide detergent. I wake, hyperventilating, calling out for TIDE! Yes, my husband still sleeps in the same bed with me and he is perfectly content to hear me calling out for laundry detergent and no one else. Seems my two younger sons believe that mommy was made and put on this earth just to wash their soiled laundry everyday. Here’s a typical scenario of any given day around our house. "Phillip, what is this heap of clothing that is lying at the foot of your bed? It’s only 11 o’clock in the morning." I announce while checking the time on my trusty watch. "I got those dirty when I was outside playing baseball, so I put on some clean clothes." Ugh! Three hours later... "Phillip, why is the shirt you are now wearing blue when the last time I saw you your shirt was red?" I demand, ready to strangle. "Oh, yeah, I got dirty playing basketball outside, so I put on a clean shirt." He replies, ever so innocent, with a smile. Clean Kid. I need to buy stock in Tide laundry detergent. Last, but not least, and we are out of this again as I write...Toothpaste! I will never hear the end of it from my two older teenage sons, Tony and Nick, who brush their teeth at least five times a day! "Mom! Did you buy me anymore toothpaste when you went shopping the other day? I’m totally out and I’m going over to Lindsey’s tonight!" Tony asks, panic stricken. Oops. One hour later... "Mom! Where’s my toothpaste you promised to pick up for me? You know how important it is for me with braces to brush my teeth!" Nick says, ever so slightly raising his voice in disgust. The guilt is setting in. Suddenly, I have an idea! As I am digging through my husband’s overnight travel bag, frantically, I am praying that I will find some rolled up, leftover tube of toothpaste to suffice my teenage boys. Ah-ha! I am one smart cookie. I guess I’ll be shopping again tomorrow morning and at the top of my list - Tide, toilet tissue and toothpaste. "Honey! Could you bring me a new roll of toilet tissue, please?" My husband calls from downstairs. Where’s the Kleenex? Paula Schmitt is a writer and the "All Sports Mom" to four boys, and one daughter, living in Central Vermont. When she’s not swamped in laundry, grocery shopping and writing deadlines her hobbies include dusting, cleaning bathrooms and traveling to her son’s sporting events. She writes a regular column, Mommy Mediator, at JustForMom.com and a column, The All Sports Mom, at SanityCentral.com, SanDiegoMama.com and MommyHullabaloo.com. Paula has been published in the Herald of Randolph, WriteFromHome.com, RaisingOurKids.com, Witwords.com, iparentingstories.com, The PhilosophicalMother.com and several other parenting sites. In between her kids play dates, music lessons and unexpected sports injuries she is attempting to write her first fiction novel and non-fiction parenting humor book. She will be co-hosting Just For Mom Radio, launching fall, 2004. To read more of her columns and parenting tips visit http://paulaschmitt.netfirms.com and for some much needed adult conversation email her at pj5@sover.net. |
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