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A Mom’s View on the Subject of Laundry Some moms actually enjoy doing laundry. They do it everyday. Have they had a lobotomy? I mean, come on and get real, here. Just the stank odor alone emitting from my mountain-sized heap of soiled goods I have collected throughout the house is enough to make even our butt sniffing dog run for cover. No matter how much I tell my children, and let’s not forget the hubby, to PLEEAASSEEE put the smelly clothing into the laundry basket, I still find holey, mix-matched socks under beds, children’s boxers on the beds, and my loving husband’s tighty whitey’s on the floor, next to the laundry basket. Where’s my Prozac? Some days I find myself singing the tune, "Calgon take me away. Far, far away!" It’s just never-ending I tell you, and the sad thing is that no one seems to care. Take last night at dinner time, for example. I have just slaved in the kitchen for hours making my wonderful family a meal (just call me Betty Crocker) and as we are eating and enjoying some quality family conversation, my oldest son spills his milk all over, not just himself, but me! More laundry. Then my third son squirts ketchup all over his shirt, again. (This is a regular event for son number three, by the way). As I am cleaning up son number three’s ketchup stained shirt, I look up and notice that my adorable son number four is using his shirt as a napkin to wipe his greasy, slimy hands. "GET A NAPKIN!" I shout, as I have now turned from Betty Crocker into Cruella Deville. I just don’t understand the whole concept of wearing an article of clothing one time and then ditching it into the hamper. Fill me in on this, would you? I mean, I wear a pair of jeans one day and if they are still stain free and smelling good, then I will wear them again. Okay? No, not okay with son number two, not a chance. Let me tell you about son number two. Do you have about an hour? Son number two is a clean freak. You heard me right, a clean freak. When it comes to clothing, he likes everything to be spic and span, wrinkle-free and smelling like roses. He wears it one time and one time only. After he has worn the clothing is a different story. You see, son number two is also an interior decorator. That’s right. He loves to decorate his room with the clothes he has worn for the past week. It’s his style, he tells me. I keep asking myself when Mr.Interior Decorator is shuffling off to college! I’m even to the point where I’m afraid to enter their bedrooms. I slowly peek in and am almost knocked over by the odor emitting from the corner of the room. ( P.U.) This pile of clothes could get up and jump in the laundry basket on its own, for crying out loud! This is when I turn into LYSOL Mom. (I have a full supply if you ever need to borrow any, honestly). I throw open their windows for full ventilation and start deodorizing. Let me tell ya, after sixteen years I am a pro at this. I couldn’t survive without my trusty Lysol. I have smartened up over the years, yes, sir. I now have my two older boys doing there own laundry. Yippee! I told them they need to learn these things before they say goodbye and head off to the wonderful world of college. My two younger boys know what’s coming their way a few years down the road. For now they are still enjoying their hide the dirty socks game with mom. Just wait. As for the moms who like doing laundry…why don’t you come on over to my house and let’s chat for a while. I’ve got plenty to keep you busy and I’ll even show you where the Lysol is….Oh, and don’t mind my butt sniffing dog. Paula Schmitt is a writer and the "All Sports Mom" to four boys and one daughter living in Central Vermont. When she’s not swamped in laundry, grocery shopping and writing deadlines her hobbies include dusting, cleaning bathrooms and traveling to her son’s sporting events. She also writes a column, Mommy Mediator, at JustForMom.com and a column, The All Sports Mom, at SanityCentral.com, SanDiegoMama.com and MommyHullabaloo.com. Paula has been published in the Herald of Randolph, WriteFromHome.com, RaisingOurKids.com, Witwords.com, iparentingstories.com, ThePhilosophicalMother.com and several other parenting sites. In between her kids play dates, music lessons and unexpected sports injuries she is attempting to write her first fiction novel and non-fiction parenting humor book. She will be co-hosting Just For Mom Radio, launching September, 2004. To read more of her columns and parenting tips visit http://paulaschmitt.netfirms.com and for some much needed adult conversation email her at pj5@sover.net |
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